Permission to Let it Go

As we enter a new year, I invite you to do a writing and art exercise with me.

Draw a side profile of your face - this doesn't have to be fancy. To help with perspective, I take a picture of my side profile, then sketch it out from the photo.

Once you have your side profile on the page, take a moment to reflect on what you may need permission to clear from your mind. See what comes out on the page. Write line by line or all over the page. Write random words that come to mind. Write to someone in particular or with no intended reader. Write with cadence and rhythm if you so choose, or in jumbled incomplete sentences. Let yourself write what feels important or impossible to say. No expectations. No judgement. No shame. Edit as needed. Acknowledge the weight of what you carry with you, and give yourself permission to clear some of it from your mind. Share it with someone if you'd like. Tear it up or even burn it (safely) if that feels good.

After keeping much of my inner world concealed for so long, I find it deeply healing and freeing to share with others what words arise when I give myself permission to write. The act of giving myself permission to share - then deciding to share and revisiting what I share - is what releases me ever so slowly from guilt and shame.

For this exercise, I chose to write in more of a poetry form, which is new to me. I've carried immense sadness and grief with me since childhood - a weight that I'm working on freeing myself from. The morning I wrote this, the first lines kept repeating over and over in my head until I allowed myself to write them down.

Sadness and grief cut so deep fueling a disbelief that I'll ever feel relief.

The words kept flowing after that. Revisiting things I've carried since childhood. Ending with optimism and in tears. I'm so proud of myself for finding these words and allowing myself to write and share them.

As we enter a new year, I wish you many opportunities for and moments of freeing yourself from whatever is weighing you down.

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Sadness and grief Cut so deep Fueling a disbelief That I'll ever feel relief. Family trauma, Not shared like drama. Brushed under the rug, Hidden like a bug. Sucking the life out of me. Out of sight, Never out of mind. Silence. Denial. Unspoken words. Protection. Deflection. Betrayal. Rage. Trapped in a cage. Door open wide, Terror inside. Love and longing, False sense of belonging. Forever confused, Why was I abused? Matter it does not, I'll still feel distraught. You Were Never Caught Your treachery revealed, Identity kept concealed. Healing I will find, For I'm no longer blind. This is our secret you whisper in my ear. Confusion and fear, No one near. Carry it alone. Your denial is not my own. The truth, it will be known. No longer will I flee From secrets you forced on me. Those demons are yours to feed. Watering a new seed.

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